Hey, I’m a slut.
Yet nother thing Kangaroos and I have in common.
I MUST BE A GENIUS
i need popcorn
what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
How stoned are you right now?
Was that a fucking pun?
a friend came round to help me revise and forgot to log out of her facebook on my laptop so I’ve spent the last 20 minutes devoting her facebook to trains.
I’ve also got the middle name “ILikeTrains” pending and have joined 50 “I love trains” groups.
are you my big toe?
because i’m gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my house
OH MY FUCKING GOD
the best way to a girls heart is punching through the ribcage
apparently this is illegal but dont let it stop you
whatever you’re expecting I promise it’s not what you’re expecting
“We’ve never had a female President in this country, which I find stunning” - Hari Kondabolu